"I didn't know how to act," Natalie said, keeping her tone particularly mild, her eyes on her hands, though there was something almost nonchalant about it. The shell was the price to pay for opening up in words. "I don't like feeling that. I just wanted to act normal, but I'm not good at being all... touchy."

She wanted to be, but something was stopping her.

"But it got awkward." And she pushed herself too hard. "That's why you... felt what you felt."

Her absolute panic.