necroslacker | bainbridge island ; sunday afternoon

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bainbridge island ; sunday afternoon

The door to his father's house looked the same as it did the last time Sam had been in front of it. And he was hesitating in the same exact way as he had the last time he'd been there as well. It was stupid, he knew, doing this especially with what he knew about Kevin Hatfield but he decided he had to try.

So, he knocked.

And he waited.

It was only a few short seconds but it seemed like longer before the door opened and Elaine was in front of him instead of the door. It took her a moment before recognition filled her eyes and she smiled lightly.

"Oh, hello again," she said, voice soft. "I didn't expect to see you again."

Sam ducked his head and felt embarrassed about interrupting and bothering her since she was genuinely an innocent party.

"Yeah, I uh..." He couldn't help trailing off sheepishly. "I was just wondering is...Mr. Hatfield home?"

Elaine still thought Sam was Nick's and he wasn't going to ruin that illusion.

"He is," Elaine said, glancing over her shoulder. "He's with Lilly right now but he shouldn't be too long. Did you want to come in?"

Sam hedged before nodding and he stepped inside his father's house for only the second time. In the distance, he could hear the television and muted voices. He felt out of place and wrong.

"Did you want something to drink? To eat?" Elaine offered and Sam shook his head. He didn't want to intrude on her further. She nodded. "I'll just go get Kevin for you. Wait just a moment."

And with that, she disappeared. Sam stood there, hands in his pockets and waited for the inevitable. He could hear Elaine's voice joining the others and then there was silence. Sam guessed Elaine had just told Kevin that he had a visitor who just happened to be his brother's son. Of course, his father would realize that it was actually his son which Sam attributed the silence to.

He kept waiting. Eventually, Elaine appeared again. Sam looked past her, over her shoulder to see if Kevin was behind her but he wasn't. Sam...yeah, it hurt even if he knew it'd been a longshot.

"I'm sorry," Elaine said, stopping several feet away from Sam this time and looking a little tense. "I was mistaken. Mr. Hatfield isn't here."

Sam knew she was lying. He knew it. He could tell and he could feel it. He kept his face perfectly blank and nodded. "Thank you for checking for me. Sorry to intrude."

He turned, reaching for the doorknob and, right before stepping out of the house, said, "Happy Father's Day to him when he does come home. You can tell him his brother's son is doing just fine without him and doesn't need him ever."

Sam stepped outside and shut the door quietly behind him. His chest felt tight and his eyes itched. He started walking without having a real destination in mind. He just wanted to get away from this house.

[NFB but open for calls/texts though he's in a really crappy mood and might not answer.]

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Just looking at what day it was, Natalie wasn't sure what kind of a reaction to expect when calling today.

In the afternoon, she found the time to call anyway. She'd deal with whatever she got.

By that time, Sam had walked around most of Seattle. Okay, not really, but it felt like that. Right now, he was sitting on a bench, letting the steady but light rain soak him and not much caring about it. He honestly didn't know what he felt right now.

When his phone rang, he let it go for a few moments before he picked it up and said, "Hello?"

"Hey," Natalie said. Keeping it simple for now. "It's me."

"Yeah, I saw your name on my caller ID," Sam pointed out, rubbing some rain water out of his eyes. "What's up?"

"Just checking in." Went pretty well with her having just ended a call to her dad, and all. "How are things with you?"

"Oh, you know."

He shrugged even if she couldn't see it.

"Just sittin' in the rain."

"Sounds lovely." Or possibly angst-filled, but she'd rather not say that. "Anything else?"

He shrugged again. "What're you doing?" Yep, that was avoiding the question quite obviously.

Like with a neon sign. "Nothing much," she said, trying not to sigh. "I signed up for the summer showcase yesterday."

"What's that?" Sam asked, genuinely curious. "Talent show?"

"More or less." Honestly, she didn't even know. "Mostly I think it's an excuse for Jono to have the theater actually do something before the fall. People showing off various entertaining skills."

"Well, you know I'll be there," Sam told her, nodding. "Wouldn't miss it."

"Probably gonna do a Harcourt song," Natalie replied with a shrug. "God Protect Your Soul. Might get percussion accompaniment and everything, but we'll see."

"Cool."

Not that those words meant a lot to him but he'd still go to see her perform absolutely anytime he had the chance.

"I'm looking forward to it."

"Of course you are." It was his thing, being fascinated by her and music. "I'll be sure to remind you when it's coming up."

"Thanks," he said and meant it. "I appreciate the helpfulness for my forgetfulness."

"No problem," Natalie replied. She was familiar with his forgetfulness by now. "Anything else you'd like me to be helpful with?"

Like, say, things he was avoiding to talk about.

"I dunno."

He wasn't sure if he wanted to bring her in on this but a part of him also wanted her there desperately.

"Well, it's your choice," she said, unwilling to push him in any way right now. "I'm here, but it's your choice to take advantage of that."

"You call your dad?"

Maybe he'd get around to his issues. Maybe.

"Mmhmm." Just listen to that utter trained mildness. "It's tradition, in this family."

"Good," Sam murmured quietly. "I'm in Seattle."

Well, that was a start.

"And how is Seattle?" Natalie asked, lightly. "Other than rainy."

"My dad can't help us," Sam blurted out. "I tried. He wouldn't even see me. Had his new wife lie to me and then they tossed me out."

So.

"Seattle fucking sucks."

Natalie sighed, and her voice grew quieter and softer. "I'm sorry," she said, and obviously meant it. "I'm sorry, Sam."

"It's not your fault," Sam said and rubbed his eye. "He doesn't even consider me his son, you know? He told his new wife that I was his brother's kid. It was a stupid long shot anyway. Shouldn't have bothered trying."

"It's his loss, Sam," Natalie told him. She believed that too. "Your biological father is an asshole."

And she didn't use language like that lightly.

"It's not your fault."

"It still sucks," he said, sounding morose about everything. "I miss my dad. Not him, not the guy that's alive. My dad."

"I can guess." She refused to say she knew. She really didn't. "Think you should maybe go spend some time with your mom and Haley?"

"I dunno," Sam said, shrugging. "I'm not in a great mood and I'd rather not make them deal with it. I might just sit here and mope."

"Your mom, out of everyone, would not hold it against you," Natalie pointed out. "I'm sure of it. Moping alone probably does no good, either."

"I know she wouldn't," Sam sighed, rubbing his eyes with his forearm. "I just don't know if I want to do that to her. And I don't want to tell her what happened today with Kevin."

"So don't," Natalie suggested, keeping her tone soft. "Just talk to her about your dad. The real one."

"I dunno." He wasn't sure about a lot of things lately. "Maybe."

"Or you can talk to me," Natalie sighed. Not out of exasperation, though. "Or not talk at all. It's your call. Nothing is a miracle cure."

"I just don't know what to say," Sam told her, shrugging a shoulder. "I'm just...feeling a little empty right now."

"Sorry I can't really do anything about it." She sucked a lot at... anything resembling something like this, and she wished it hadn't been like that. "You'll get over it. Eventually."

"Yeah, thanks," he said wryly. He knew she wasn't good at things like this but he didn't feel like he'd get over this one for awhile. It was just so much all at once. "I'll get over it."

"Look, I'm sorry, I don't know what to say," she replied, subdued. "Your day sucks. I don't know what to do about that."

"I know, I know," he said quietly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that either. I just feel...not good. I feel bad."

Natalie sighed. "Since I didn't actually ask, is there anything you think I could do to help? Or would you just rather mope in peace?"

"I think I might just come back to the island," Sam said after a few seconds of quiet. "I'm not going back to the campground, though. You wanna meet me in the room? I could use some time alone with you."

"I can meet you wherever," Natalie promised. "Room's fine. I need to go back to the dorms to practice, anyway."

"I'll be there...soon, I hope," he said, finally pushing to his feet and glancing around. "I need to find a portal and then I'll be there."

"Okay." She nodded, useless as that was. "I'll be here." A pause, and she added, "I love you."

"I know," he breathed and nodded. "I love you too. See you in a bit."

And he hung up his phone so he could dial up Portalocity to try and catch the next portal back to the island. He needed to get out of Seattle.

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bainbridge island ; sunday afternoon

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