seattle ; monday afternoon

[necroslacker]

It'd been another night racked with nightmares. They were getting worse and worse and Sam had no idea what had seemingly opened the floodgates. He didn't know what was causing everything to spiral out of control. He'd found himself downstairs in the basement way too much and for way too long. Ramon and Frank had even started questioning him and he'd just snapped angrily and stalked away.

That had just concerned them more. And they'd threatened to tell Brid which was great. He didn't want to deal with her when it came to this. He didn't want to deal with anyone. He just wanted to internalize it and make it go away.

He'd locked himself in his room for right now. The bed was unmade and messy and his clothes were strewn about, a testament to just how unfocused he was. But, he was still up and he was still mobile. Well, he was looking out one of the windows at the gray afternoon.

But, that counted.

[NFB but open for interactions]

Comments

[necroslacker]

"Told you I needed sleep," Sam reminded her.

[whenshewasnice]

"So you did," she agreed mildly. "So there's really nothing out of the ordinary going on?"

Well, he did always sleep poorly.

[necroslacker]

"No."

He wasn't going to start dumping his issues on her especially after what she'd just admitted.

[whenshewasnice]

"Really?"

Just checking.

[necroslacker]

"Is anything really out of the ordinary for my life?"

It was avoidance but he didn't really care.

[whenshewasnice]

"That was some shoddy avoidance right there," Natalie pointed out, albeit gently. "Don't play the semantics game with me, Sam."

[necroslacker]

"You wanna play another game, Natalie?"

Still avoiding.

[whenshewasnice]

"Well, you're one of the few people who are any good at them." But. "But, you're just making it obvious there's something you're not telling me. And you have every right to not tell me things. But I'll still ask."

[necroslacker]

"No need to ask," Sam told her, still putting up that shield in front of him. "I'm just tired."

[whenshewasnice]

"I'm no longer buying that."

It felt fair to make that crystal clear.

[necroslacker]

Yeah, he was kind of picking up on that.

"Well, it's all you're getting," Sam said. His shields were high right now. They only tended to go down when it came to her during certain times.

[whenshewasnice]

"At least that's a little more honest," she remarked. "Frustrating, but honest."

[necroslacker]

"Sorry. I'm not letting you back in."

Not like that, at least. It sounded harsh but he was mostly just being protective.

[whenshewasnice]

Natalie didn't feel too pleased with his protectiveness. But that was to be exepcted, right? For one thing, that wasn't what it registered as to her.

"... Well, that's a nice bit of whiplash."

[necroslacker]

"What?" Sam was confused, yeah. "What do you mean?"

[whenshewasnice]

"You seemed pretty comfortable advising me on issues few other people have even realized I have." There was a trust thing here she now thought she may have read a little too much into. Would've been par for the course. "But then you turn around and you're 'not letting me back in'? Why get even that close if I can't do the same?"

[necroslacker]

"Because -- "

Well, there were a lot of reasons. So many of them.

" -- this isn't the same thing. This is dangerous."

That hadn't been what he'd expected to say.

[whenshewasnice]

It wasn't exactly what Natalie had expected to hear, either. There was a tiny part of her that preferred this.

"So is being a social recluse," she snarked anyway, but her heart wasn't in it. "What is it, Sam?"

[necroslacker]

"No, Natalie."

He wasn't going to bring her into his thoughts that he might be losing it. Not gonna happen.

[whenshewasnice]

Because she would so enjoy finding out about it once he did.

"Whatever it is, you're underestimating me."

[necroslacker]

"No."

He wasn't budging. Not right now.

[whenshewasnice]

"No, you're not underestimating me, or no, you won't tell me?"

A beat.

"No, save your breath. I know which one it is. You're being stubborn. I guess I should respect that."

She really didn't want to. But still.

[necroslacker]

"It's fine and I'm fine," Sam told her, not sounding like he believed it. He just sounded tired. "I just need to sleep."

[whenshewasnice]

Natalie pushed her annoyance aside.

Now she just sounded concerned. "Can you?" she asked. Because she knew all about his insomnia. Lived with it for a good chunk of time.

[necroslacker]

"Soon enough."

Which was avoidance and uncertainty.