seattle ; tuesday morning

[necroslacker]

Sam was actually sleeping this morning. There had been a nightmare or two but nothing he couldn't get past and he'd settled into a fairly restful sleep sometime around two in the morning. He was going to guess the addition of the other person in the bed with him might have had something to do with it.

He was still on his side, still fully clothed, and she was still there behind him. He hoped she was sleeping too because her staying up all night just would have been exhausting.

And that's what this morning was going to be: exhausting. So, they both needed some rest now.

[NFB but for the girl in the bed and then someone else a wee bit later]

Comments

[whenshewasnice]

"Sam, please." She wanted to reach out and touch him over the blankets. She didn't. "You don't think Brid's going to have words for you?"

[necroslacker]

"Of course she's going to have words for me," Sam said. "She'll probably even hit me. And then it'll be fine and I'll be fine and everything. It's just a bump in the road."

[whenshewasnice]

"You lost control," she said, tempering her tone back to mildness. "And you refuse to talk about it. It's more than just a bump in the road, Sam."

[necroslacker]

"I don't want to talk to you!" Sam exclaimed, shaking his head. "I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm fine. I'm just fine. I had a bad day and I'm fine now."

[whenshewasnice]

"Don't lie to me, Sam."

She moved to get off the bed. Got up. Straightened up her clothes and wondered where Brid was. It was that rare kind of occasion where she would actually have really liked to talk to the girl.

"You know I'm worried for you, and you know I know fine is in another galaxy from where you are right now."

[necroslacker]

"No one needs to worry about me," he mumbled, still underneath blankets and pillows. "I'm handling it."

He wasn't but whatever.

"You'll see. I'm fine."

[whenshewasnice]

"Yeah," Natalie sighed. "You need to tell your friends, or I'm telling them for you."

[necroslacker]

"Whatever. I'll just tell them otherwise," Sam said, rubbing his aching head and trying not to just cry with frustration and pain and fear.

[whenshewasnice]

Likewise.

"Sam, which one do you really think they'll believe?"

Since she was still standing next to the bed, this time she reached out to touch his shoulder over the blankets. Or about where she guessed his shoulder was, anyway.

Fully expecting to get shooed away.

[necroslacker]

He didn't have the energy to shoo her away. He didn't move though and didn't reply. If he had to, he'd lock himself in the basement for awhile until people forgot about his issues or he just went insane.

[whenshewasnice]

Natalie sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned over him. She wanted to hold him so badly right now. But she didn't, not really. Just murmured some words to him.

"Sam, please let someone help," she said. "If not me, then someone else. This is too big for you to handle, and you don't want to be like this. Don't be me and lock everyone out. It won't work."

[necroslacker]

"No one can help me," Sam mumbled in a shuddering sort of voice. "No one."

He didn't know where his uncle was and he figured that was the only person who could really know what he was experiencing.

"I have to handle it. I'll get through it."

[whenshewasnice]

"And you can have help while you're doing that," Natalie told him. "Because everyone wants to help. Brid wants to. Ramon and Frank want to. I want to. Your mom definitely wants to. There is no good reason to refuse us."

[necroslacker]

"Yes there is."

He still sounded sad.

"I don't want to hurt anyone. Natalie, I don't want to talk about this. Please."

[whenshewasnice]

"Well, you haven't been talking to anyone so far," she pointed out, keeping her voice free of the way his tone squeezed at her heart. "And you basically just hurt Brid. So, that's not working."

[necroslacker]

"I just wanna go back to sleep," he mumbled sadly. "Please. Please, let me sleep."

He just didn't want to deal with his issues right now.

[whenshewasnice]

Natalie sighed again. "Okay," she said. "Okay."

But she didn't move, not immediately.

[necroslacker]

He'd have to deal with everything in due time but he really just wanted to close his eyes and ease his aching head. He sighed at her relenting to his request and curled up so he could try and go back to sleep.

It probably wouldn't work but he could give a good illusion.

[whenshewasnice]

Natalie wasn't going to buy it.

She still got up, then hesitated just a bit.

[necroslacker]

Sam could tell she hadn't left just yet. He didn't know what she was doing but he didn't know if he should do anything in response. His head was aching painfully and he almost wanted to cry but he kept it in.

He stayed still and just tried to breathe.

[whenshewasnice]

Natalie didn't know what she was doing, either. She didn't really want to leave him alone like this. But she also didn't know what else to do when he'd basically told her to do just that, several times over.

So she stayed still too, and swallowed, and watched the lump on the bed, and wondered when things had gotten this bad, and whether she should have noticed it earlier on.

[necroslacker]

Sam whimpered just a bit, unable to hold it back. He rubbed at the side of his head, just the slightest bit of movement before he stilled again.

He knew she was still there but he was too tired to hold any sounds back right now.

[whenshewasnice]

"Oh, Sam," Natalie sighed, taking a step back closer to the bed despite herself.

Then stopped again.

[necroslacker]

"It's just a headache," he mumbled. "I'll be fine. It'll go away."

[whenshewasnice]

"No it's not."

That had been amply established already.

"Look, if I promise to not make you talk about it, can I stay for a while longer?"