necroslacker | seattle ; tuesday

Coming back hadn't been...pleasant. Sam had figured it wouldn't be so he'd prepared himself. Frank was angry but he was, at least, talking to Sam. Ramon had yelled at Sam upon his return and then stalked off and now was refusing to talk to anyone. Sam figured it would pass and he'd just give Ramon time. If he'd been that angry, he would have just moved out altogether and he was still here.

Sam didn't tell Frank much, keeping everything very low key just to possibly avoid Frank texting everyone and their brother about his return. He'd said he was tired and had promised to talk about it later. With that, he'd meant to go to his bedroom to just decompress.

But, he'd ended up in the basement. It still gave him a chill and he still felt an almost painful tugging in his gut but he tried to ignore it, to beat it down and not let it overwhelm him. He leaned against one of the bare walls and thought about maybe doing something with this space.

Maybe that would help.

[NFB but open for interactions. If you think you got a text from Frank about Sam, feel free to mod it.]

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"You're free to head out whenever you'd like," Sam told her, sighing and letting his head thump back against the wall. "I'm not gonna be doing much today."

"I'm not in a rush."

Worrying about him had been a huge part of what she'd been doing for the past week. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to be doing with herself now.

"I can go if you want me to, though."

"I just don't want to keep you from anything," Sam told her quietly. "I don't know if I'm gonna be doing anything but this for awhile."

"You're not keeping me from anything," Natalie told him just as quietly, glancing over. "I've just sat with you before. If you want to be alone, I'll o, but if you don't, I can be a friend and stay awhile."

She looked away again. "Assuming that's not making anything worse."

Sam let out a breath and bent his knees so he could rest his elbows against them. "I still don't know what I want us to be, Natalie, and I'm sorry about that. My feelings about you haven't changed."

He wanted to be honest.

Natalie held her breath for a moment, then let it go in a quiet sigh. "I figured."

If he'd come back with some kind of a definite stance, she would've been surprised. And maybe suspected she was far more to blame for this mess than she would like to be.

Anyway. What did you say to that? "Sorry."

"You don't need to apologize," Sam said, rubbing the side of his head with one hand and frowning. "I just want something different than you do and I can't let go of that. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize, either," Natalie replied. "I know you can't help it any more than I can. I just can't help wondering whether I shouldn't just leave you alone. I don't want to, but if I'm just being sefish and hurting you..."

Well. She didn't want to do that, either.

"I don't know." He really didn't and that was the honest truth. "I just don't know if I can just be your friend. I just don't know. And I wish I did to give you a definitive answer but I don't know."

"And I wish interpersonal relationships were less messy, but there we go." Her tone was soft, and her voice quiet. She looked across the room again. "But, breaking it down to smaller things that can be handled. Am I helping or hurting more by being here? Right now, I mean."

"You're not hurting me further," Sam told her easily. "I'm still hurting but you being here isn't making it worse."

She turned her attention back towards him.

"But not better, either?"

"I just got back, Natalie," Sam told her, meeting her glance. "There's not a lot that's going to make me feel better. Things are hard."

Natalie gingerly reached out a hand to give his shoulder a brief, gentle squeeze.

"I know. Sorry. I shouldn't be getting my own issues on you right now."

Possibly ever.

"It's okay. It's fine," Sam said, sighing and rubbing his cheek against his arm. "Your issues are as important as mine. Just wish I could help more."

"So do I." She let her hand drop again. "Have you eaten? Can I get you anything?"

"I'm not hungry," Sam said, looking back at the wall across from them, "but I have been eating. Just not hungry right now. And I don't need anything. I'm okay."

"Okay," Natalie repeated. "I'd ask the same about drinking and sleeping but you're probably got those covered already. And your bandages look recent enough."

... Sometimes she got the urge to fuss over people. Mostly when she was at a loss about what else to do.

"I'm okay," he repeated, a little softer this time. "You don't need to worry, Natalie. I'm taking care of myself as best as I can."

"I'll still worry. I've had enough practice." She rubbed her temple a little. Spoke softly again. "But, okay."

"Yeah, but don't spend too much time on it," Sam told her. "I'm sure you have better things to spend time on that aren't me."

"I care about you more than I do most people." Which was to say she prioritized worrying about him pretty highly, no matter what he said. "And there's only so much time I can pour into getting familiar with Madagascar."

"Well, I'm okay," he said, trying to reassure her. "I'm fine. Don't worry too much. I'm not gonna run off again."

Not for the next while, at least.

"Okay," Natalie replied, nodding. "So... Is it okay if I just stick around for a while? We don't even have to talk."

She just wanted to take a little bit of time to sit next to him and reassure herself.

"Yeah." Sam nodded. "Yeah, it's okay. You can stay. I'm not in a very talkative mood but you can stay if you don't mind that."

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whenshewasnice - 2013-06-03 20:27 (UTC) - Expand