Sam LaCroix (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
necroslacker) wrote2014-01-02 07:46 pm
necroslacker) wrote2014-01-02 07:46 pm
seattle ; thursday ft
Ramon came back a few days later. Things had settled down a bit by that time. Sam was lazing about on the front porch steps, drinking his coffee, petting Taco, and watching the gnomes train Frank in some of their fighting techniques. It was pretty hilarious. He'd bypassed going to the doctor, deciding just to rest his ribs and other injuries. He didn't need to explain this to anyone.
Ramon grabbed a cup of coffee and joined Sam. “Why is that gnome wearing a cowboy hat?”
“That would be Chuck the Norriser. He’s convinced that, since Chuck Norris wears one in Walker, Texas Ranger, he must do so in real life. It’s caused quite a hullabaloo in the gnome community. They think the break from tradition might be a slippery slope and that soon all the gnomes might turn away from their customary garb. It got pretty ugly there for a while.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, but then Frank said he was giving Chuck a special sanction because of his namesake, but the hat will still have to be red. So we’ve ordered a tiny red cowboy hat to be made, and everyone’s happy.”
“That is truly bizarre.”
Sam shrugged and sipped my coffee. “To outsiders, everyone’s home life is weird. Mine just happens to be extra weird.”
Ramon glanced over at him. “So you’ve finally accepted this as your home, huh? No more ‘I’m going to bulldoze this place and burn the rubble’ talk?”
Sam thought about that for a minute and looked around. Frank and the gnomes were now going through a set of what looked like Tai Chi. The Minotaur was playing Frisbee with the nymphs. (The nymphs were winning.) One of the big stone lions was basking in the sun, its tail flicking slowly. The gladiators were trimming the shrubs, and James, in cat form, was ruthlessly stalking a butterfly. His sister, in a ridiculously floppy sun hat, was tending the garden. Sam yelled at her to keep an eye on the hedges that had been snaking forward to snatch her hat. The scene was almost idyllic, and Sam realized that at some point, somewhere deep down inside, he’d decided that this was home. Ramon was right.
Sam took another sip of my coffee. “No, no bulldozing or rubble-burning.”
“Good,” Ramon said. “I like it here.”
“Me too.”
Taco got up, stretched, then flopped out into as much sun as he could manage.
“What about your uncle?” Ramon asked.
“We are in a delicate state of truce. That’s enough for now, I think.” Sam stared into my half-empty cup. “Are you … okay?”
Ramon was also having a staring contest with his coffee. “It really bothers you, doesn’t it? What I am?”
“What? No. I don’t care if you start turning into a purple-spotted giraffe hell-bent on world domination—you’re still my best friend.”
He set down his mug and turned to me. “Then what is bothering you?”
“I guess I feel, I don’t know, responsible.”
“For what?”
Sam waved my hand out toward Frank. “It’s like Frank. I mean, yeah, he’s pretty happy right now, and the gnomes have started calling him Frank the Fearless, but what trouble is my association with him going to bring? You were leading a perfectly happy and normal life, and now presto-chango, it’s become complicated, and it’s all because of me.”
Ramon started to laugh. Really loudly, too. It was one of those gut busters where you can’t stop until it’s all run out. Sam let him go, a frown on his face. Here e was in deep emotional turmoil, and Ramon was having a giggling fit, the bastard.
Sam was able to go get a fresh cup of coffee while Ramon contained himself.
“That’s what’s been bothering you?”
“What the hell did you think was bothering me?” Sam was feeling a little grouchy over the fact that Ramon wasn’t taking this very seriously.
He shrugged. “I don’t know, I thought maybe me turning into a giant bear was kind of weirding you out for some reason.”
“You thought I was having adjustment issues because of that? Dude, half my friends turn into wolves, one of my roommates turns into a dragon, and Frank is training with gnomes. That is not the problem.” Sam socked him in the arm. “I felt bad that you were going through all this because of me.”
Ramon hit Sam back, harder. “Dude,” he mimicked, “it’s as much my fault as yours. You didn’t ask to get kidnapped. I chose to come after you, knowing full well I might get hurt. I honestly don’t think any of us could have anticipated this outcome.” He leaned back on his elbows. “Anyway, it’s done. And you know what? I don’t mind.”
Sam set down his mug and hunched forward, resting on his elbows. “You’re not just saying that so I’ll stop festering in my guilt?”
“Do what you gotta do, man. All I’m saying is, it’s not that bad. Sure, there are downsides—I’m still having control issues, and it hurts like a son of a bitch, but there are upsides too.”
“Like what?”
“Like getting to be a big-ass bear. You can’t tell me that’s not fierce. Look at it this way, with all of your new crazy powers, doesn’t it reassure you to know that you can use them to help your friends?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s just like that.” They watched as Frank tripped over his own feet, landing facedown in the grass. “Someone has to take care of you guys. It will be a little easier to do that as a were-bear, you know?”
“I have this vision of your room covered in Care Bear paraphernalia, right down to the grumpy bear sheets.”
“If you start asking to see my were-bear stare, I’m going to eat you.”
“Aw, don’t be grumpy there, sunshine bear.”
He shoved me.
Sam held up my hands in mock surrender. “I will say this—I was surprised you turned into a grizzly.”
“What, are you saying that because I’m Mexican? You don’t think a man of my heritage can handle a grizzly bear?”
“I was just going to say because you’re so short.”
It went downhill after that.
[NFB but open for phone calls/texts. Taken from Necromancing the Stone. No warnings for this part. One more post to go in a day or so and then done-zo!]
Ramon grabbed a cup of coffee and joined Sam. “Why is that gnome wearing a cowboy hat?”
“That would be Chuck the Norriser. He’s convinced that, since Chuck Norris wears one in Walker, Texas Ranger, he must do so in real life. It’s caused quite a hullabaloo in the gnome community. They think the break from tradition might be a slippery slope and that soon all the gnomes might turn away from their customary garb. It got pretty ugly there for a while.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, but then Frank said he was giving Chuck a special sanction because of his namesake, but the hat will still have to be red. So we’ve ordered a tiny red cowboy hat to be made, and everyone’s happy.”
“That is truly bizarre.”
Sam shrugged and sipped my coffee. “To outsiders, everyone’s home life is weird. Mine just happens to be extra weird.”
Ramon glanced over at him. “So you’ve finally accepted this as your home, huh? No more ‘I’m going to bulldoze this place and burn the rubble’ talk?”
Sam thought about that for a minute and looked around. Frank and the gnomes were now going through a set of what looked like Tai Chi. The Minotaur was playing Frisbee with the nymphs. (The nymphs were winning.) One of the big stone lions was basking in the sun, its tail flicking slowly. The gladiators were trimming the shrubs, and James, in cat form, was ruthlessly stalking a butterfly. His sister, in a ridiculously floppy sun hat, was tending the garden. Sam yelled at her to keep an eye on the hedges that had been snaking forward to snatch her hat. The scene was almost idyllic, and Sam realized that at some point, somewhere deep down inside, he’d decided that this was home. Ramon was right.
Sam took another sip of my coffee. “No, no bulldozing or rubble-burning.”
“Good,” Ramon said. “I like it here.”
“Me too.”
Taco got up, stretched, then flopped out into as much sun as he could manage.
“What about your uncle?” Ramon asked.
“We are in a delicate state of truce. That’s enough for now, I think.” Sam stared into my half-empty cup. “Are you … okay?”
Ramon was also having a staring contest with his coffee. “It really bothers you, doesn’t it? What I am?”
“What? No. I don’t care if you start turning into a purple-spotted giraffe hell-bent on world domination—you’re still my best friend.”
He set down his mug and turned to me. “Then what is bothering you?”
“I guess I feel, I don’t know, responsible.”
“For what?”
Sam waved my hand out toward Frank. “It’s like Frank. I mean, yeah, he’s pretty happy right now, and the gnomes have started calling him Frank the Fearless, but what trouble is my association with him going to bring? You were leading a perfectly happy and normal life, and now presto-chango, it’s become complicated, and it’s all because of me.”
Ramon started to laugh. Really loudly, too. It was one of those gut busters where you can’t stop until it’s all run out. Sam let him go, a frown on his face. Here e was in deep emotional turmoil, and Ramon was having a giggling fit, the bastard.
Sam was able to go get a fresh cup of coffee while Ramon contained himself.
“That’s what’s been bothering you?”
“What the hell did you think was bothering me?” Sam was feeling a little grouchy over the fact that Ramon wasn’t taking this very seriously.
He shrugged. “I don’t know, I thought maybe me turning into a giant bear was kind of weirding you out for some reason.”
“You thought I was having adjustment issues because of that? Dude, half my friends turn into wolves, one of my roommates turns into a dragon, and Frank is training with gnomes. That is not the problem.” Sam socked him in the arm. “I felt bad that you were going through all this because of me.”
Ramon hit Sam back, harder. “Dude,” he mimicked, “it’s as much my fault as yours. You didn’t ask to get kidnapped. I chose to come after you, knowing full well I might get hurt. I honestly don’t think any of us could have anticipated this outcome.” He leaned back on his elbows. “Anyway, it’s done. And you know what? I don’t mind.”
Sam set down his mug and hunched forward, resting on his elbows. “You’re not just saying that so I’ll stop festering in my guilt?”
“Do what you gotta do, man. All I’m saying is, it’s not that bad. Sure, there are downsides—I’m still having control issues, and it hurts like a son of a bitch, but there are upsides too.”
“Like what?”
“Like getting to be a big-ass bear. You can’t tell me that’s not fierce. Look at it this way, with all of your new crazy powers, doesn’t it reassure you to know that you can use them to help your friends?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s just like that.” They watched as Frank tripped over his own feet, landing facedown in the grass. “Someone has to take care of you guys. It will be a little easier to do that as a were-bear, you know?”
“I have this vision of your room covered in Care Bear paraphernalia, right down to the grumpy bear sheets.”
“If you start asking to see my were-bear stare, I’m going to eat you.”
“Aw, don’t be grumpy there, sunshine bear.”
He shoved me.
Sam held up my hands in mock surrender. “I will say this—I was surprised you turned into a grizzly.”
“What, are you saying that because I’m Mexican? You don’t think a man of my heritage can handle a grizzly bear?”
“I was just going to say because you’re so short.”
It went downhill after that.
[NFB but open for phone calls/texts. Taken from Necromancing the Stone. No warnings for this part. One more post to go in a day or so and then done-zo!]