seattle ; sunday evening

[necroslacker]

St. Patrick's Day didn't mean a lot to Sam. Sure, he wore green when he remembered but for the most part, it was just another day. This St. Patrick's Day though, Sam had gotten dragged out to a bar with Brid and her brothers. Her excuse had been she was tired of him moping around like a lost puppy. He'd tried to beg off but she hadn't been hearing it.

So, Sam was at a bar. And Sam was actually drinking. It actually got a little easier to convince him to drink after getting some alcohol in him. Maybe that had been Brid's plan all along. Whatever, Sam wasn't going to argue. Maybe he could get drunk for only the second time in his life and forget how bad he'd been feeling for months now.

Brid was off, trying to cajole one of her brothers into doing karaoke or dancing or something which left Sam at the bar alone. He chatted occasionally with the bartender but otherwise, just say quietly with a drink in his hand.

At least Brid wasn't trying to make him do karaoke.

[NFB but open for calls/texts/etc. Sam is a leetle drunk.]

Comments

[whenshewasnice]

"Presumptuous. I do." She could probably have said that correctly even while drunk, too. "And you don't have to say it or even mean it to give off the impression."

[necroslacker]

"You dumped me and then lied to me," Sam reminded her bitterly. "If I hated you, which I don't, I'd still have a reason to. Don't go around thinking you know me, Natalie."

[whenshewasnice]

"But I do know you, Samhain."

Which went both ways, but she didn't feel the need to point that out.

[necroslacker]

"Don't call me that," Sam snapped because she was the only one who did use that name and it hurt to hear it now.

[whenshewasnice]

Natalie suppressed a sigh, ducking past another rowdy group of people.

"Sorry."

[necroslacker]

"You're the only one who uses that name and it hurts to hear it from you," Sam explained quietly. "So, stop."

[whenshewasnice]

"Okay, okay, I'll stop," Natalie promised, softly, even as she wondered whether it was going to get drowned out by someone drunken hollering with a poor Irish accent, just a few feet away. "You can just be Sam."

[necroslacker]

Sam took a few long drinks from his glass and rubbed his eyes. Alcohol had probably been a bad choice, he was realizing now.

"Thanks," he said glumly, sighing into the phone. "You wouldn't wanna be at this bar anyway. Brid's here."

Sorry, Natalie.

[whenshewasnice]

Natalie held her breath for a moment without meaning to, then exhaled. "Well, that's probably good for you," she said, and meant it. Even if she'd rather not have thought about Brid at all. "Someone's there to carry your drunk self home if need be."

[necroslacker]

"What, you saying you'd do it if she wasn't here?" Sam asked. "Or did I mess that implication up."

[whenshewasnice]

"I'm strong enough." And she was trying to be his friend, and wasn't that what friends did? "I kicked Clint on his ass just last week. I could do it."

[necroslacker]

"I wasn't doubting you," Sam slurred. "I know your strength. I shouldn't even want you to do that. Me wanting anything to do with you is stupid."

And yet, he did.

[whenshewasnice]

"Maybe, but being stupid is human," Natalie told him. She'd stopped walking, and was eyeing the crowd heading into a pub.

They all looked so happy.

"I think me wanting anything to do with you is probably stupid too."

[necroslacker]

"I still don't want to be your friend."

It just wasn't enough for him.

[whenshewasnice]

"Tough," Natalie replied. "Because you know I'll still be your friend."

And because she wasn't the slurring one here, she even realized she probably shouldn't word that as 'I'll still be yours'.

[necroslacker]

"It's not enough," he mumbled sadly. "It's not enough."

[whenshewasnice]

"And I'm sorry you feel that way," Natalie replied, her words precise and crisp because it kind of always stung to hear him say that. "But I'm still here. For whatever you refuse to take. Because I don't want to believe in all or nothing scenarios."

That was a bit of her conversation with Jono bleeding out, there.

[necroslacker]

"No."

He shook his head harshly and smacked his fist on the table.

"We're not in between. It's not going to happen."

[whenshewasnice]

"You'd really throw it all away because you can't have everything you want?"

Someone passing by her told her to cheer up. Loudly.

[necroslacker]

"I'd throw it all away because friends doesn't fit," he said before he could stop himself. "We don't fit as friends. We were meant for more than that and for a year, that's what we had. Pulling back from that, it doesn't work because the pieces don't fit."

His voice was getting a little louder. "It's not about what I want. It's not that at all. It's that I can freaking see how you fit into my life and it's not as some freaking friend who calls me up to chat about stuff. It's not. We're not buddies or pals. I'm not Jace or Peter or whoever else you're friends with and trying to shove me into that category is crap. It's crap because it doesn't fit."

[whenshewasnice]

"No, Sam, you're not a Jace or a Peter or even a Clint," Natalie said, not raising her voice or anything. She had other ways of conveying upset. "You're a Todd."

Like that.

"Or you're making yourself into one, anyway. And I'd rather not have you be one of those people whose names push me off the rails because I lost you completely."

[necroslacker]

"Don't compare me to Todd," he said immediately. "I didn't leave you."

She'd left him technically.

[whenshewasnice]

Technicalities didn't help her damage.

"You're trying to."

[necroslacker]

"You left me first," Sam pointed out petulantly. "You can't have your cake and eat it too, Natalie. You can't just dump me and expect I'm still gonna wanna be chummy with you."

[whenshewasnice]

Natalie decided to follow the crowd into the pub.

No reason.

"You're still talking to me, though."