necroslacker | seattle ; tuesday morning

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seattle ; tuesday morning

Sam was actually sleeping this morning. There had been a nightmare or two but nothing he couldn't get past and he'd settled into a fairly restful sleep sometime around two in the morning. He was going to guess the addition of the other person in the bed with him might have had something to do with it.

He was still on his side, still fully clothed, and she was still there behind him. He hoped she was sleeping too because her staying up all night just would have been exhausting.

And that's what this morning was going to be: exhausting. So, they both needed some rest now.

[NFB but for the girl in the bed and then someone else a wee bit later]

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"Can it wait till I've had some more sleep?" Sam asked, sounding a little sullen. "I want to go back to sleep."

"You just pushed Brid," Natalie snapped, incredulous. "No, it can't wait."

"She wouldn't have left otherwise," Sam told her, shaking his head. "It's not like I hurt her. She'll be fine."

Pissed but fine.

At those words, Natalie just stared at him some more.

And if he felt a brief flash of horror from her, good. Maybe that would make him reconsider what the hell he was saying.

"Maybe you should leave too," Sam said but he wasn't pushing her. He'd just felt that and he wanted to curl up and just be alone. "I should be alone."

"No," Natalie replied, firmly. "No, I think you should face up to what you just did, and then you should tell me why the hell you would do that in the first place."

"I know what I just did!" Sam shouted at her. He rubbed his once again aching head. It'd just all come back. "And I don't know why I did it. There. Now, leave me alone."

Because he was going to end up back in the basement with how things were going now.

"That's not good enough."

The shouting had done exactly nothing to her. She'd already been angry and worried.

"Is this what you didn't want to tell me about? Has this happened before?"

"I'm going back to sleep," Sam said, avoiding the question at all costs. He slid back underneath his blankets and covered his head with a pillow. "Go away, Natalie."

Because he was afraid he'd do something to her if pushed.

And Natalie knew that if he messed with her head, it would be the last he'd ever see of her.

She still watched him. The worry was taking over the anger.

"Sam, you can't do this. Talk to me. Please."

"There's nothing to talk about," Sam mumbled, burrowing himself in blankets and pillows to block out the world. His voice had taken on that vulnerable tone again. "Please. Leave me alone."

Natalie sighed. The quiet of the night really had been too perfect to last, hadn't it?

"If you're not going to talk to me, you'll have to talk to someone else," she told him quietly. "This is too much for you to handle alone."

"I'm handling it fine," he murmured, sighing and closing his eyes. "I don't need to talk to anyone. I'm fine. Just a bad morning."

"Sam, please." She wanted to reach out and touch him over the blankets. She didn't. "You don't think Brid's going to have words for you?"

"Of course she's going to have words for me," Sam said. "She'll probably even hit me. And then it'll be fine and I'll be fine and everything. It's just a bump in the road."

"You lost control," she said, tempering her tone back to mildness. "And you refuse to talk about it. It's more than just a bump in the road, Sam."

"I don't want to talk to you!" Sam exclaimed, shaking his head. "I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm fine. I'm just fine. I had a bad day and I'm fine now."

"Don't lie to me, Sam."

She moved to get off the bed. Got up. Straightened up her clothes and wondered where Brid was. It was that rare kind of occasion where she would actually have really liked to talk to the girl.

"You know I'm worried for you, and you know I know fine is in another galaxy from where you are right now."

"No one needs to worry about me," he mumbled, still underneath blankets and pillows. "I'm handling it."

He wasn't but whatever.

"You'll see. I'm fine."

"Yeah," Natalie sighed. "You need to tell your friends, or I'm telling them for you."

"Whatever. I'll just tell them otherwise," Sam said, rubbing his aching head and trying not to just cry with frustration and pain and fear.

Likewise.

"Sam, which one do you really think they'll believe?"

Since she was still standing next to the bed, this time she reached out to touch his shoulder over the blankets. Or about where she guessed his shoulder was, anyway.

Fully expecting to get shooed away.

He didn't have the energy to shoo her away. He didn't move though and didn't reply. If he had to, he'd lock himself in the basement for awhile until people forgot about his issues or he just went insane.

Natalie sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned over him. She wanted to hold him so badly right now. But she didn't, not really. Just murmured some words to him.

"Sam, please let someone help," she said. "If not me, then someone else. This is too big for you to handle, and you don't want to be like this. Don't be me and lock everyone out. It won't work."

"No one can help me," Sam mumbled in a shuddering sort of voice. "No one."

He didn't know where his uncle was and he figured that was the only person who could really know what he was experiencing.

"I have to handle it. I'll get through it."

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