seattle ; tuesday

[necroslacker]

Coming back hadn't been...pleasant. Sam had figured it wouldn't be so he'd prepared himself. Frank was angry but he was, at least, talking to Sam. Ramon had yelled at Sam upon his return and then stalked off and now was refusing to talk to anyone. Sam figured it would pass and he'd just give Ramon time. If he'd been that angry, he would have just moved out altogether and he was still here.

Sam didn't tell Frank much, keeping everything very low key just to possibly avoid Frank texting everyone and their brother about his return. He'd said he was tired and had promised to talk about it later. With that, he'd meant to go to his bedroom to just decompress.

But, he'd ended up in the basement. It still gave him a chill and he still felt an almost painful tugging in his gut but he tried to ignore it, to beat it down and not let it overwhelm him. He leaned against one of the bare walls and thought about maybe doing something with this space.

Maybe that would help.

[NFB but open for interactions. If you think you got a text from Frank about Sam, feel free to mod it.]

Comments

[necroslacker]

"I haven't seen Brid yet but I'm sure that's coming," Sam told her. "Haven't talked to my mom either. Figured I'd save that till I can only get over there and see her in person. I've got a message for her anyway."

[whenshewasnice]

Natalie nodded at him. "Okay. Brid can do my share of the yelling, too." She rested the back of her head against the wall and glanced across the room. She'd never been down here before, and she couldn't say she'd been missing out on a pleasant experience. "I'm glad you came back, Sam."

[necroslacker]

"Yeah." He sighed and rubbed his face, trying to prevent himself from getting teary or emotional or anything like that. "I'm sorry if I upset you, Natalie. I didn't mean to. You just have to know, I was really scared and doing what I thought was best."

[whenshewasnice]

Natalie thought about holding a hand out for him. But, bandaged. Better not.

"I know," she replied softly. "It was scary from the outside too." Kind of liking he hadn't even been him. He'd been just that freaked out. "But I know."

[necroslacker]

"Hopefully it starts to get better," he said, rubbing his chest with one bandaged hand and looking down at the floor. "You didn't have to come all this way, you know. I would have called you. I just haven't touched my phone in over a week."

[whenshewasnice]

Natalie shrugged a shoulder.

"I wasn't sure you'd call."

[necroslacker]

"I would have," Sam said, nodding. "Wouldn't have wanted you to still be worrying when it wasn't necessary."

[whenshewasnice]

"Got Frank's text," she replied, shrugging again. Not as good as a call, but okay. "But, thank you."

She meant it, too.

[necroslacker]

Sam shrugged a shoulder and bowed his head. "I figured he'd text the world and then some. Sorry if I pulled you away from something."

[whenshewasnice]

"I just have to hope neither Mox nor Peter bring down the bouncy castle in my absence."

She wished that was not a statement that made sense.

[necroslacker]

"You're free to head out whenever you'd like," Sam told her, sighing and letting his head thump back against the wall. "I'm not gonna be doing much today."

[whenshewasnice]

"I'm not in a rush."

Worrying about him had been a huge part of what she'd been doing for the past week. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to be doing with herself now.

"I can go if you want me to, though."

[necroslacker]

"I just don't want to keep you from anything," Sam told her quietly. "I don't know if I'm gonna be doing anything but this for awhile."

[whenshewasnice]

"You're not keeping me from anything," Natalie told him just as quietly, glancing over. "I've just sat with you before. If you want to be alone, I'll o, but if you don't, I can be a friend and stay awhile."

She looked away again. "Assuming that's not making anything worse."

[necroslacker]

Sam let out a breath and bent his knees so he could rest his elbows against them. "I still don't know what I want us to be, Natalie, and I'm sorry about that. My feelings about you haven't changed."

He wanted to be honest.

[whenshewasnice]

Natalie held her breath for a moment, then let it go in a quiet sigh. "I figured."

If he'd come back with some kind of a definite stance, she would've been surprised. And maybe suspected she was far more to blame for this mess than she would like to be.

Anyway. What did you say to that? "Sorry."

[necroslacker]

"You don't need to apologize," Sam said, rubbing the side of his head with one hand and frowning. "I just want something different than you do and I can't let go of that. I'm sorry."

[whenshewasnice]

"You don't need to apologize, either," Natalie replied. "I know you can't help it any more than I can. I just can't help wondering whether I shouldn't just leave you alone. I don't want to, but if I'm just being sefish and hurting you..."

Well. She didn't want to do that, either.

[necroslacker]

"I don't know." He really didn't and that was the honest truth. "I just don't know if I can just be your friend. I just don't know. And I wish I did to give you a definitive answer but I don't know."

[whenshewasnice]

"And I wish interpersonal relationships were less messy, but there we go." Her tone was soft, and her voice quiet. She looked across the room again. "But, breaking it down to smaller things that can be handled. Am I helping or hurting more by being here? Right now, I mean."

[necroslacker]

"You're not hurting me further," Sam told her easily. "I'm still hurting but you being here isn't making it worse."

[whenshewasnice]

She turned her attention back towards him.

"But not better, either?"

[necroslacker]

"I just got back, Natalie," Sam told her, meeting her glance. "There's not a lot that's going to make me feel better. Things are hard."

[whenshewasnice]

Natalie gingerly reached out a hand to give his shoulder a brief, gentle squeeze.

"I know. Sorry. I shouldn't be getting my own issues on you right now."

Possibly ever.

[necroslacker]

"It's okay. It's fine," Sam said, sighing and rubbing his cheek against his arm. "Your issues are as important as mine. Just wish I could help more."