room 216 ; monday morning

[necroslacker]

Sam hadn't slept much this weekend. After Saturday's near debacle, he'd been tense and unfocused and saddled with an unfamiliar body that made sleeping even harder than it was for him normally. So, he just hadn't slept. He'd spent time holed up in his room before taking off to the mainland, skateboard in hand. He'd stayed there for awhile, skateboarding until his legs ached.

He'd actually changed back at some point during his journey back to the island. He was himself again, familiar and with clothes that once again fit. Exhaling, he'd continued on back to the island and back to his room

And that's where he was now, fresh from a shower, with clean clothes on. He'd changed the bandages on his hand earlier even though they probably didn't really need them. It was more of a way to keep the wound hidden from certain people.

With all that done, he'd put on a record (something classic rock) and started eating the breakfast he'd picked up on his way back (tofu omelettes). He had class in awhile but he could relax now and try to let all the tension seep from his shoulders.

Slowly.

[Door's closed, post is really for one person and posted early because our schedules are hilariously incompatible lately.]

Comments

[necroslacker]

"Yeah, it's not bad," Sam said, taking the fork back and sighing down at his plate. He didn't know what to do. It sounded like she was brick walling it up today.

[whenshewasnice]

"Why are you sighing?"

See, she could take some sort of initiative instead ignoring it. It even sounded more curious (though she had guesses) than accusing. And sure, it wasn't exactly opening up but it was something.

[necroslacker]

"No reason, I'm fine." That wasn't exactly true but she tended to do that to him so he could do it to her too. "Just glad to be a guy again."

[whenshewasnice]

"Mm." Yeah, she was going to sigh a little, too. And look down at her hands. Twist her lips. "Sorry about Saturday."

[necroslacker]

"It's fine," Sam said, waving that off. "I doubt it could have been helped. You don't like it when I'm a girl. Or...when I'm just back from raising someone. It's cool."

He understood. Sort of.

[whenshewasnice]

Natalie shook her head, slowly. "I don't think that's really it." The girl thing. She was not touching the necromancy right now. "A little more complicated. I guess."

[necroslacker]

"If you say so," Sam said skeptically. He still just thought she didn't like different things about him and couldn't help that. He had reactions to back him up.

[whenshewasnice]

Well, he had his perceptions, anyway.

"And I do. You don't know everything."

[necroslacker]

"So you've told me before," Sam said, nodding. "I know I don't know everything. So, why don't you enlighten me since I'm playing the part of dummy today."

[whenshewasnice]

"I didn't know how to act," Natalie said, keeping her tone particularly mild, her eyes on her hands, though there was something almost nonchalant about it. The shell was the price to pay for opening up in words. "I don't like feeling that. I just wanted to act normal, but I'm not good at being all... touchy."

She wanted to be, but something was stopping her.

"But it got awkward." And she pushed herself too hard. "That's why you... felt what you felt."

Her absolute panic.

[necroslacker]

"I felt your panic, yeah," Sam agreed, nodding. He was glad that she at least didn't brush everything off and give him a complete non answer.

"Why don't you wanna initiate touch with me? Is it me?" Sam asked after a moment. "If you wanna touch me, touch me because if you're reacting like you were a few days ago, I'm not gonna know if you even want me to touch you."

[whenshewasnice]

"It's not you," Natalie said, suppressing a sigh. "It's just not my style. I don't know how to be like that."

And have it feel natural. She almost mentioned how she'd used to stand still when he came closer, then thought better of it.

[necroslacker]

"Okay," Sam said, accepting that she just wasn't a touchy person with him or anyone. He smiled sadly at her more because she seemed to want to touch and just couldn't.

"How do you get comfort when you need it?" Sam wondered quietlyh.

[whenshewasnice]

She shrugged a shoulder. "Music." Because, you know, she sucked at the physical. She took her comfort where she got it.

[necroslacker]

"So, you'd rather go back to your room to listen to music then ask me for something or even just take something knowing I'd be just fine witht that?" Sam asked quizically.

[whenshewasnice]

Natalie gave him a sideways glance.

"When you put it like that, it makes me sound stupid."

She was aware there was something ridiculous about her when it came to this.

[necroslacker]

"I'm not trying to make you sound stupid," Sam said apologetically. "I just, I dunno, I'm your boyfriend. You can want me to comfort you and I'll do it. It's not gonna change my feelings for you."

[whenshewasnice]

"I know that. Intellectually."

Which was to say that remembering something like that while panicking? Easier said than done.

[necroslacker]

"Intellectually," Sam repeated quietly. "Answer me this, do you want me to comfort you when you need it?"

[whenshewasnice]

There was a long pause.

And then, as... factually as she possibly could: "Yes."

[necroslacker]

"So, say it. Tell me you want me to comfort you."

Because, after that long pause and the clinical answer, he didn't think she could.

[whenshewasnice]

Natalie gave a quiet sigh. "It's not that simple, Sam."

Though she acknowledged that it should have been.

[necroslacker]

"Yeah," he replied because he'd called that. "I figured it wouldn't be."

He slid his fingers through his hair and admitted quietly, "I don't know how I'm supposed to act around you most of the time, Natalie, because I don't know what you want. You rarely tell me and you're not overly demonstrative which either means I guess or I'm left wondering if you even like me sometimes."

[whenshewasnice]

Natalie's head turned fully towards him for the first time during this conversation. It wasn't quite a whip, but it wasn't exactly a slow movement, either.

"I do like you," she said, almost, almost looking surprised. She hadn't realized she could come off like that sometimes.

[necroslacker]

"Intellectually, I know that," he said and it wasn't a swipe at her but more an illustration of how it was hard for him too.

"You don't always act like it though," Sam added. "And I'm not saying you have to be some over the top girl who hangs on her boyfriend. I know what kind of person you are, I get that, but, you know, this is the first time you've looked at me fully since you got here. You're almost always hesitant to come into my room or sit down and you don't like talking to me all that much. So, sometimes it feels like you don't like me."