necroslacker | seattle ; tuesday morning

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seattle ; tuesday morning

Sam was actually sleeping this morning. There had been a nightmare or two but nothing he couldn't get past and he'd settled into a fairly restful sleep sometime around two in the morning. He was going to guess the addition of the other person in the bed with him might have had something to do with it.

He was still on his side, still fully clothed, and she was still there behind him. He hoped she was sleeping too because her staying up all night just would have been exhausting.

And that's what this morning was going to be: exhausting. So, they both needed some rest now.

[NFB but for the girl in the bed and then someone else a wee bit later]

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Natalie let them talk without interjecting, for the moment. And kind of wondered why nothing could just be one simple mess at a time, instead of having layers upon layers of different messes happening at once.

Yeah, she was with Brid on how bad Sam's general state of being sounded like. But she didn't need to say that at this particular second.

"Oh, did you tell her?" Brid asked, pointing at Natalie. "Did you let her in on your little secrets despite the fact that I've had to hold you and stay up nights with you just because she hurt you so badly?"

Sam sighed and shook his head. "Brid..." It was a warning.

"Sam, no, this is ridiculous," she exclaimed. "You're only doing more damage to yourself! And you're letting her keep this hold she has over you so you'll never move on."

Okay, getting a little annoying now. Not that you could really tell from Natalie's tone. "Brid, shut up," she said, in that perfect, practised neutral. "It's not a 'hold' over anyone. And your jealousy is your own problem."

"I'm not jealous," Brid said even though she was. "He's kissed me, you know. After you broke up with him, a few months after, he did kiss me. So, you're not the only one who gets this personal time."

"Brid!" Sam said, actually looking a little scary now. That was a tone he didn't tend to use and an expression he didn't tend to wear. "Stop."

"Sam...?" Even Brid was a little taken aback.

Okay, Natalie didn't like the sound of that. Not what Brid had said. That... She wouldn't have said that stung. Because she'd been expecting that. Sam's tone, though?

"Sam?"

Yeah, she was side-eyeing him with a frown, now.

Sam wasn't sure what had come over him with that tone and expression but it hadn't gone away. His hands were clenching into fists at his sides.

"You need to leave Brid."

"Sam -- " Brid started talking again, even reaching out to touch Sam's shoulder. He swatted her hand away. "Sam, this is ridiculous. You need to see a doctor. I can take you to my family."

"Brid." He breathed and stared a hole into her. "Leave. Now."

And Brid seemed to look confused for a second, like she didn't know what was happening before she said, "I need to leave," and turned to leave.

Yep.

Yeah.

Sorry, but Natalie was staring at him now.

She knew what he'd just done. She'd seen that confusion on Brid's face, and she'd recognized it. She knew she'd felt it too, once, even if it was almost a year ago, and neither of them had been exactly themselves. Even if the memory was fading, just like she hadn't forgotten beating the crap out of Alec, she also hadn't forgotten what it was like to have Sam's will overpowering hers.

She knew what he'd just done. So... She was staring. Unsure how to even react.

Sam seemed to snap out of whatever state he'd just been in and breathed raggedly for a few seconds. His shoulders sagged and he felt cold. Without a word, he went over to his closet and pulled out a sweater to put on over his tee shirt.

He could feel Natalie staring at him and didn't know what to say. He'd just wanted to sleep.

"Sam."

So, he'd forced one opinionated girl looking for answers out of the room. But he still had another one to deal with.

She didn't sound happy.

"Hmm?" Sam had pulled the sweater over his head and was coming back over to the bed like he could ignore what he'd just done. He sat down, back to her and rubbed his face.

That was just not going to fly. Sorry, but no.

"If you think I'm going to just ignore what just happened, you're very wrong, and you should know better."

"Can it wait till I've had some more sleep?" Sam asked, sounding a little sullen. "I want to go back to sleep."

"You just pushed Brid," Natalie snapped, incredulous. "No, it can't wait."

"She wouldn't have left otherwise," Sam told her, shaking his head. "It's not like I hurt her. She'll be fine."

Pissed but fine.

At those words, Natalie just stared at him some more.

And if he felt a brief flash of horror from her, good. Maybe that would make him reconsider what the hell he was saying.

"Maybe you should leave too," Sam said but he wasn't pushing her. He'd just felt that and he wanted to curl up and just be alone. "I should be alone."

"No," Natalie replied, firmly. "No, I think you should face up to what you just did, and then you should tell me why the hell you would do that in the first place."

"I know what I just did!" Sam shouted at her. He rubbed his once again aching head. It'd just all come back. "And I don't know why I did it. There. Now, leave me alone."

Because he was going to end up back in the basement with how things were going now.

"That's not good enough."

The shouting had done exactly nothing to her. She'd already been angry and worried.

"Is this what you didn't want to tell me about? Has this happened before?"

"I'm going back to sleep," Sam said, avoiding the question at all costs. He slid back underneath his blankets and covered his head with a pillow. "Go away, Natalie."

Because he was afraid he'd do something to her if pushed.

And Natalie knew that if he messed with her head, it would be the last he'd ever see of her.

She still watched him. The worry was taking over the anger.

"Sam, you can't do this. Talk to me. Please."

"There's nothing to talk about," Sam mumbled, burrowing himself in blankets and pillows to block out the world. His voice had taken on that vulnerable tone again. "Please. Leave me alone."

Natalie sighed. The quiet of the night really had been too perfect to last, hadn't it?

"If you're not going to talk to me, you'll have to talk to someone else," she told him quietly. "This is too much for you to handle alone."

"I'm handling it fine," he murmured, sighing and closing his eyes. "I don't need to talk to anyone. I'm fine. Just a bad morning."

"Sam, please." She wanted to reach out and touch him over the blankets. She didn't. "You don't think Brid's going to have words for you?"

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