necroslacker | room 216 ; saturday morning

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room 216 ; saturday morning

Yeah, so Sam had woken up with girl parts. Fortunately, he wasn't gonna have a screaming fit of surprise. Unfortunately, he was also contemplating just sleeping this weirdness away so he didn't have to deal with anything that might be coming at him from certain parties. Of course, this plan was hindered by the fact that he didn't really sleep at all in the first place and meant he was more just acting like a lazy ass instead of sleeping.

This body was weird. It was smaller and softer and there were...things that he was used to touching, not having. He was curious about what his back looked like, if he'd kept those scars or not but he wasn't so curious as to try and look.

Nope. Sam was in bed, swimming in his clothes and trying to keep his longer hair out of his eyes. This island had a crappy sense of humor sometimes. He didn't want to be a girl, he didn't know how to be a girl.

And now he was a girl. Sigh.

[Door's closed but the post is open, definitely! I totally didn't forget this at first!]

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"Just wanted my boyfriend," she said, as calmly as she could. Twisting her lips. "Just wanted the... comfort. Or something."

But he could only read her emotions and not her mind.

It was one of those weird moments where she kind of wished she was the kind of person who cried more easily. She was just going to settle for a tension headache.

"I can't read your mind," Sam pointed out, shaking his head. "I don't know what you want because you make it impossible to read you sometimes and right now, it's even harder because you're trying to cover things up. I can read your anxiety and that's what I'm getting from you. You're telling me you want me but all I can feel from you is discomfort."

"So you'd rather trust that than my words?" Not that that was always the wrong course of action... "You could try making some of it go away."

"You just now gave me your words," Sam reminded her quietly. "All I had before were your emotions so what else was I gonna trust?"

And a part of him was still worried that he'd start feeling discomfort, anxiety and unhappiness if got close to her. But, he was still holding her hand at least so he brought it closer to his lips and kissed the top of it.

Natalie sighed when he did that, and tried to make some of the tension fade from her shoulders. His lips may have felt a little different, even on the back of her hand, but it was still a touch.

It was still what she felt like she needed.

"Seriously, what's wrong?" Sam asked, softer this time. "You've like gone completely downhill since you got here."

"I don't know," Natalie replied, quietly. "I think I should be fine. I was fine when I was in the common room."

Thinking she should be fine was probably the problem.

"So, it's something with me," Sam said and he didn't sound upset. He might have felt a little sad but he didn't show it.

It was more like something with her. But unfortunately she was not quick to put blame on herself.

She also wasn't rushing to blame him either, really. It was on the island. "Well, I'm not as close with anyone else."

"I'm sorry," Sam said, turning his eyes up to the ceiling. He did keep a hold of her hand but he wasn't sure what to do, if anything, to help. "Wish there was something I could do besides making you have panic attacks right now."

"I'm not having a panic attack," she replied softly, because facts were something to cling to at times of stress. "I'm... adjusting."

"You're not adjusting well," Sam remarked quietly. "And that's not meant to push you or anything but I can feel you trying and I can feel it not working really well."

"Well, at least you can feel me trying." Wasn't that something? "This shouldn't be this hard."

"It's not gonna be forever," Sam sighed, feeling some tension finally creep into his own body at her reactions to him. It was hard to stay relaxed right now. "So, there's that."

Natalie sighed too. "I think I'm starting to stress you out, now."

"I just don't know what to do. It's me that's making you stressed out and that's hard to deal with even if I know I look different and feel weird," Sam said, taking a breath.

"It's hard to feel as much anxiety coming off of you regarding me as I've been feeling because -- " He shrugged. He had issues about that and she knew it. "And I want to help but I'm the cause so...what do I do?"

Besides get stressed out himself.

Edited 2012-01-28 21:56 (UTC)

Natalie sighed again, and pulled his hand closer to her now, so she could kiss his knuckles.

"It would probably be better if I left."

"I'm sorry you feel that way," Sam replied, sighing inwardly. He didn't know what else to do though since he was the cause and she wasn't adjusting.

"I'm sorry you have to know what I feel." It made it harder to fake things at him. "This'll blow over by next week, won't it?"

Sam shrugged a shoulder and said, "I hope so." He wouldn't commit to anything what with the island being like it was and her reacting to him strangely when he was normal sometimes.

It was hard to pick up on what she was feeling towards him, yeah. Right now, it kind of sucked and he'd probably brood the entire rest of the day alone.

And Natalie was probably going to feel guilty about that. Just a little. But she pushed herself up, his hand slipping from hers. "So I guess I'll go."

And right now? She mostly just felt sad, on top of her anxiety.

"Up to you." Sam wasn't going to be the one to tell her to leave. It was going to be her choice because he wasn't going to come back and argue with her about this feeling being mutual.

He tucked his hand back underneath his blanket and looked over at her, watching her feel and now feeling that sadness combine with the anxiety.

Swell.

Natalie took a few silent steps towards the door. Then she stopped, but didn't look back, just glanced down at her feet.

"I wanted you to hug me, earlier."

Actually, she still did.

"I can't read your mind," Sam said, starting to finally climb out of bed. He was still in the too big shorts and t-shirt so no weirdness to be had there.

"And you have to learn that you can take things from me that you might want especially when it comes to that," he said, coming up to stand behind her.

"Considering how you were reacting to me, how was I gonna know that?" he said just as he wrapped an arm around her from behind and pulled her back to give her an atypical hug but a hug nonetheless.

Natalie leaned back into him almost automatically, with a shuddering sigh. And she was just going to ignore the breast thing for the time being, as obvious as it got to be with the leaning.

She covered his arm with one of hers and all she could think to say in reply was a quiet "Sorry."

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